So I've been sitting on a blog entry for about half a month now. I wrote it the night of July 4th after an entire day of irritation had gotten to me. Basically, it was a little temper tantrum about feeling undeserving of the almost constant praise and thanks for my service and imagining telling off those people and informing them where to take their gratitude (actually, nothing obscene there. I would have told them to thank teachers and firemen and police, etc.).
So why didn't I publish it? it's still on my phone- wouldn't take but a few seconds to do it. Basically I'm scared. Not sure of what exactly- maybe because I know some of the things written are a bit controversial or could spark arguments or might upset someone and we can't have THAT on the internet, can we?
Looking at my Facebook page, there's a lot of stuff I repost or make comments on where my opinions may not be in the majority. But I still temper what gets published. Yes, there's a lot out there where I don't care what people think of me as a result and I probably have a few family members or friends that have my posts "hidden" due to content or language or whatever. Point is- I'm still editing myself.
Even here on my own blog where I don't have followers and really the only things people see are what I share with Facebook, I still don't say all that I want to say. Blame it on the social conditioning of girls having to be "sugar and spice and all things nice" if you want. I blame it on simply not wanting to rock the boat.
Maybe one day I'll publish that post. Maybe one day I'll get over this stupid fear of "upsetting" people. But until then, enjoy the tempered, edited Chase.
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